


words lose their will around the flame

by patrokla



Category: Preacher (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, One-Sided Attraction, Spoilers through 3x04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-25 08:27:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15636963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patrokla/pseuds/patrokla
Summary: It was easy to fall in love with her.





	words lose their will around the flame

**Author's Note:**

> This is just some post-3x04 angst from Cassidy's pov. 
> 
> Title from Pat Hull's "My Flame".

It was easy to fall in love with her. It was even easier to change himself into someone who could be everything to her that Jesse was too stupid to be.  
  
That’s what he told himself, anyway. It was so easy to deceive them all, himself included, when all he had to do was look out for her and back her up in stupid fights.  
  
But then she’s bleeding out, dying, dead, and he can’t lie to himself any longer. He never really changed, he just got possessive. All the flaws and desires he thought he buried come to the surface, right as Jesse catches on to his half-baked hopes and plans.  
  
Suddenly he has to defend himself, prove himself, and improve himself all at once. It’s fucked timing, is what it is; it’s timing that utterly fucks him. What would-be lover could triumph against a bunch of backwoods murderers, a best friend with no qualms about chopping him into pieces, and a recently returned bloodlust? What person could mold themselves in the right way under those circumstances?  
  
Getting the love spell is just…evening the playing field a little.  
  
(Except it’s not, he knows it isn’t. He knows that if he ever uses it on Tulip, that’ll be the end of the world as he knows it. He knows, he _knows_ )  
  
And then she tells him that she doesn’t love him. She sends him away, after everything, and he doesn’t argue because he’s finally realized that he has nothing to offer her that she doesn’t already have. In a different world, a world where she’d never met Jesse, never got tangled up in all the God business, they could’ve been incredible.   
  
But it’s not that world. It’s a world where he’s sitting on a bus, soaked in blood, with nothing but a love spell in his pocket. It’s a world where his only chance was never really a chance at all.

  
It was so easy to fall in love with her. It’ll be the work of a lifetime to forget her. 


End file.
